White People, You Need To Wash Your Butts

To the left is a hand-bidet. Everyone should use one, or something like it

I didn’t understand this when I lived in America, but you need to wash your butt after you poop. You can’t just wipe it until the paper looks clean. If you got poop on any other surface you wouldn’t just wipe it off, you’d wash it. Your butt deserves the same dignity.

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indi.ca

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Indrajit Samarajiva is a writer from Sri Lanka, grumpily in Oxford for a while. Sign up for my newsletter at www.indi.ca, and you can reach me at indi@indi.ca.