Pooping In Space

In space, everyone can hear you fart

Apollo 10 astronauts Cernan, Young, and Stafford. You’ll get to know them intimately.

To get a sense of the complicated indignity of pooping in space, just read this mission transcript from Apollo 10.

STAFFORD: Who did it? [laughter]
CERNAN: What? Where did that come from?
STAFFORD: Give me a napkin quick. There’s a turd floating through the air.
YOUNG: I didn’t do it. It ain’t one of mine.
CERNAN: I don’t think it’s one of mine.
STAFFORD: Mine was a little more sticky than that. Throw that away.
YOUNG: God almighty.

and shortly afterwards:

CERNAN: They said on 135. They told us that - Here's another goddam turd. What's the matter with you guys?

In many ways, these were the first UFOs reported from space.

Early space pooping wasn’t easy. Those pioneer poopers had to stick a plastic bag to their anus, poop, pinch off the turd with their fingers, then open a pack of germicide and mash the whole thing together. Without the last step, your bag of poop would bloat up with gas and explode.

On the way out the adhesive would rip out your butt hairs and God help you when it came to cleaning up.