Investment Advice For The Apocalypse
My world has already ended in Sri Lanka and soon enough yours will too. This is investment advice for that future, things I wish I knew. None of this will actually save you from suffering and indeed, the most important lesson is ‘fuck you’. We fundamentally have to get away from the individualistic idea of investing—which just leads to more suffering—and take a much wider view.
1. Long-Term Investments: Heaven
In the long run, we’re all dead, so the wise apocalyptic investor keeps treasure in heaven. Sages like Jesus and the Buddha said to give up everything. The Holy Quran says “Allah has made interest fruitless and charity fruitful,” the opposite of all earthly investment advice. Given that we are entering an apocalyptic accounting period, it’s best to take sage advice.
I try to hedge my bets by worshipping everyone with the same level of neglect, but obviously find what works for you and your cultural context. It’s known that god is with the poor and suffering and that the meek shall inherit the earth, so best to be with them. It’s also best to offer some sort of sacrifice and to feed ancestors, the most ancient investment methods which we tend to forget.
